Hi everyone!!

I've recently discovered the powers of I-Ching through a chat "friend" so I just started to try to learn something of it when I came across this forum.

I've posted some hexagons for the free reading in this and other forum, but I think I'll never hava an interpretation of them.

I would like to, but doesn't mind. What I like of this Friends Forum is what I've been reading in it from other members and how well do they get on.

I think I just need some counselling and some dessperate answers so that's why I posted my hex in the free forum.

I just want to tell you a bit of my story. I'm 35, and I've been living with a man for 11 years. I really loved him a lot. He was not perfect but I loved him and I loved everything I did with him. We had extra similar likes in everything so we got a long quite well. He has a bit of harsh character but I could go through it because all of the rest extra-romantic things he did for me. We lived in Italy and he moved 3 years ago to the US to California to learn things for his career. He went there for just one year so I stayed in Italy. But each year he asked me if he could stayed one more. I left my work to be able to visit regularly to CA. After 3 years of this horrible distance relationship I decided to move also to CA. He was offered a good job ther and wanted to stay so he asked me for some money, we married, and we decided to buy a house in CA.
Well, one month after our marriage and one month before my big move to the US when I visited him he said me "I don't love you any more, I don't want lo live with you any more."
I asked him why and just said "because we are different, but we can be great friends because we have lots of things in common". I asked him if there was someon else and he said "of course not, it's just i don't love you any more".

All this was 2 months away and one of his co-werkers has told me that he has been infatuating with another co-worker, for instance married and mother, for about 8 months, that's it before our marriage and before asking me to go and live with him.

Thay mantain this as a secret, neither me nor her husband knows it and they see each other frequently.

I've asked him if there's another woman and continues saying NO at my face, it doesn't matter how I ask him, he always says no. But he is deffinetly lieying.
In fact, just arriving to the US he also had and adventure with one of his co-workers also, but ended up, I ask him also then because I didn't like his behaviour with that woman and he insulted me, called me paranoic and said me there was nothing. And again before this last married-coworker, there was even one more.
I think in Italy it was the same with his co-workers but as we lived together he has less chances. But he allways said no, I'm allways faithful to you.

And now he is quite comitted to this married and mother co-worker, which I don't understand because he obliged me to abort once because he doesn't want to become a father.

The thing is that I still love him, I will stil like to have him back (I know I'm crazy, but love is crazy), I don't have a job in Italy, I don't have a home, I don't have friends at all in Italy and I have no family at all in Italy. I'm totally alone. I have quite a lot of chances to find a job in CA, where he lives, because we looked for it when we decided to move ther together and I don't like what to do. Because I need a job to live and in the US i'll probably have one whilst in italy not, because I want to see him to make him come back with me but, and here's the big but I don't want to see him with this other woman.

I'm totally destroyed, I feel humiliated (in front of his co-workers), I feel unworthy, I've lost 40 pounds in 2 months, I don't want to live, I am totally alone I don't have any one to talk to, any one to ask for ideas. I don't get out of my room, I don't have anymore strength to keep on living, for me death would be a reward.

So in this mood I found I-Ching and did a hex to know if I will find my real loved and lover soon (for this is my only reason to keep on living, konowing that I will be happy again in this tormented world) and which is posted in the free reading forum but with no replys. I know i won't get replys for my questions:

1.-the former will I find my real loved and lover (soulmate) soon.
2.-is my ex-boyfriend/husband (let's call him F) relationship wiht his new girlfriend (let's call her H), going to be stable and last forever.
3.-do I have any possibility to reunite with F and be happy with him again the rest of our lifes and when.
4.- are F an H going to be happy together for ever after.
5.-will F and H break up and when.
6.- should I move to the US to find a job.
7.-will I find a job worthwhile and when.
8.-will I have any children of my own with my loving husband and when.
9.-will I have friends, real friends, sometime in my life and when.
10.-has F cheated on me before H.
11.-is H going to divorce of his husband.
12.-are H and F going to have children of their own.

If you want to do the i-ching for me for all this questions you are wellcome I will really appreciate it but if not, which would be a pitty, I will just need to hear some of your opinions and best of all find some friend in here because I really really feel alone and I don't want to keep on living this martyrdom anymore.

Thanks to all who have continued reading until here. I will like to know your replies in interpreted i-chings, or at least in words. Thanks to all agian.

hello azucarglas,

i have read your story. do feel sad and sorry for you. I understand how you are feeling right now, having being with this person for 11 years, and after getting married for just weeks and someone saying these words is really heart breaking.

In this world, there are really more worse things in life. Though its tough, I feel you could have think that you're not in the worst.. there are more people out there who might be times worse than this. Life still has to go on.

Its like the end of a chapter in your life, and now beginning a new one. You get what I mean? Who knows, from there you will make new friends.. and even get to know the someone who'll learn to treasure you much more than this guy?

As for me, recently.. I've been dating a girl, or rather a woman?, who is probably 7-8 yrs older than me. Im not sure if its common in other countries.. but i do feel a bit strange initially. I got to know her through another friend (who's my ex-colleague). We got along real well, and you know what? At the beginning, actually she had tried to bring me and another girl (same age as me) together.. But as time went by, one day, she confessed that she fell for me. I was kind of surprised and a bit lost.. though i did started to suspect something there when she started asking me out more often.
After been together for a couple of months, we still kept mum about it to our friends. Well, at least she did mention to her very good friend and i related to another trust-worthy colleague.

And from here, I feel what i could say is, always follow your heart and do what you think is right. If he doesn't have a place for you in his heart already, why keep bugging to it and end up suffering?
I hope you can sort your thoughts out and start moving on again. do not stay rooted at this point of life, my friend. There are many other things out there worth pursuing for.

Im not really someone great myself but would like to give some encouragement to you, just like what I and my girlfriend do to each other.

Take care and bless you
sav

Thank you for your words Saviola.

I think I allways get the same answer from the forums, keep moving, you'll find someone better, and I know you are all right.

But what I feel is that that is future, and maybe a very long future and I still have to cope with the present which is horrible and what I want is to be able to cope in the present, not in the future, because maybe I don't wait for that future because it's too far away, if it comes.
It's quite difficult to have all your family dead and no friends to talk to and this ex who throws you away for another person, you get the feelling that you are useless and no one cares for you, that there's allways someone better and that therefore no one will love you in the future because no one has loved me in the past or in the present.

I am glad that you are having a good time with your girfriend. I think that the age is not a problem, it's not usual in my country because of maturity, you know, at the age of 30 women look for stable things whilst at the age of 20 men look for living life. But as time goes by and everyone becomes older they become mature aswell and at the age of 40 a woman still seeks for stability which a man also starts seeking by the age of 30. So I think it's not normal when you are young but becomes more frequent when you are older. Also I think it's because when women get older they like to like young men and young men start seeking the experience and stability of a mature women (like this Freud's complex of the lost mother). I think that as long as you get along well is fine.

In my case the other married woman now comitted to my ex-husband also started talking to him to try to improve our (his and mine) relationship, she told him what to tell me and what to do and he believed her and obeyed her more than he obeyed him. That's how they started knowing each other talking about my flaws and virtues and she teaching him until one they he started flirting with her (taking care of her and making her presentes) like he did with many other women until one day she told him she has felt in love for him. And it was all set. He started dating her and seeing me and with the two of us for 2 o 3 months and the rest of the story you know about.

I really appreciate you trying to help me but for some reason I don't find comfort in this type of words " you'll be better, you'll find someone better". I know I'll end up forgetting this 11 years because I've forgetten all my family who is dead, and if I've forgotten them I will forget him. But what happens if I don't find anyone like him in the future? How much do I have to wait? 12 years? I want to have children I will be to old for then. We were a good couple we liked the same things in all aspects: job, films, travelling, cooking, eating, politics, religion, decoration, reading, and we had the same type of living and also he in fact got to know all my family so I could talk with him about my brother, my sister, my mother....

He has ruined my life totally, next one, if I can wait alife for him, and do really exists won't be able to know my family and we will have a very short period of time to share, he would have missed most of the important things of my life, unlike my exhusband has. And also I've lost all his family which I really loved and considered to be like mine.

Any suggestions to the questions I have asked in my first post?

Thanks anyhow for your kind words, Savila, tough times for me.

dear azucarglas,

i'm really sorry if my words didn't help you at all. Can understand what you are going through. Words may not really be that strong to do much to help you through your situation now.

Probably you could ask for advice frm ces.. or some other friends in this forum.
Sorry that I couldnt help much.

Hope the other friends could contribute in this thread.

take care,
sav

thanks again for your kind words, Sav. The important thing is that you tried and I really do appreciate it, the problem is not in you but in me.

I don't know how to find help from ces or other forumers. They don't seem to like this thread.

Hope they do something, someone in this forum, words, advices, anything is wellcome.

Anyway thanks and take care.

Most of the users of this board go to the Free Readings board (which you've already been to). If you have questions that want the I Ching to help solve, then you should post in the Free Readings forum (where these questions and answers are given). If not, then give it time. People to go to these other boards too, just not as many (as many have questions of their own).

UK Anon Hotmail User

Dear UK Anon,

I decided to get into this "friends forum" to explain my situation for two reasons:
one to have a kind of friends point of view, not just I-Ching that of course I would like, but also some understanding and the second one because I didn't want to bother you and other moderators having to respond my too many questions.

I've allready been to the free reading thread and posted my question and got your excellent advise. I am just starting with I-Ching and I don't feel very sure with the answers I give to my self so I would have to post too many questions on the free reading taking away time for others. I've already had my chance there so I thought I should leave others have their chance too. I think that you are too overwhelmed with readings for taking all my questions.

I was just trying to take a bit of work away from you and let other people read my I-Ching questions (though not as well as you) in this friends forum.

But if you don't mind me asking for so many readings I will do that in the free reading

I just thought it would be too boring for others but for me is great to have your expertise reading in the free reading.

Can I do that, really, ask for so many questions for I-Ching to solve?

If yes thanks, and I'll do that, let me know.